Video on Winning. One of my final posts.

This is a great clip. From time to time I watch it as motivation. The only part that is iffy is the last bit where he says a "loser is a loser". I know that when I had low self esteem, that's certainly not what I wanted to hear. But in that way, it's motivating, to prove to myself that I'm not a "loser". Now when I watch it, I agree with everything he says. Even the last statement; I now relate to Alec Baldwin's character more than the other people. The "loser" no longer represents me, it represents people who are afraid to go for their dreams. I believe people can change (myself as an example), but some people don't seem to want to change, which is why I agree with that statement.

I really feel that I am on the verge of being very successful in my business venture. It is a entertainment project, and I have poured my heart and soul into it. In my life, I've never been this determined.

I think I was only able to do this because I got rid of social anxiety. If I still had social phobia, I most likely would be stressing out over things that people with social phobia stress out on, and get depressed every other week. Do you see how pervasive social anxiety can be?

I realize that this blog has not been that great. I don't think I have really put in that good of an explanation. And I haven't really described how I cured social anxiety, except for bits and peices that someone would have to fit together like a jigsaw.

One reason is that it's not an easy answer. It's not a linear 1-2-3 finish. The mind is a complex, complicated thing, and I'm not too sure exactly how I got cured. It was like being bombarded with several different factors at the same time that all helped me. I was on vacation away from it all. All that anger and depression vanished as soon as I went to this place. The experience there also was very fulfilling as I have family over there and saw things in a new way. I was always being challenged by people who were outgoing. Normally that would have a negative effect, but somehow, because of who they were and where I was, it had a very beneficial effect. I could write 20 pages detailing the things I believe contributed to my success.

The second reason why I haven't described it, is that if I am going to go out of my way to write an in-depth answer, I'd like to know that it was not done in waste. You see, part of me doesn't want to describe it, because I feel that it would in a way, it would trivialize the experiences I went through. I know this goes against my "keeping a journal" mode, but it's almost like my expereince feels more pure because I didn't sit there analyzing it like some sort of math equation. I mean, as an analogy, if you fell in love with someone, you just want to be in the emotions, you don't want to painstakingly go through all the details of how you logically connected with each other. It would almost take away something from it right? Watch a movie like Before Sunrise (Ethan Hawke in a terrific film of 2 people falling in love in "real time", as well as the sequel Before Sunset) or Lost in Translation (Great movie, but can only be enjoyed if you like slow paced films). Movies like Before Sunrise work so well because they understand the emotion of something. I'm not sure I really want to sit there and break everything apart. One day it will happen. Maybe when my projects are done and I feel that I have the desire to reflect.

And lastly, I haven't been that thrilled with the viewership and responses. I use Google Analytics and I can see trends. I see things like how most of my readers come from Ontario, New York, California, and Eastern United States, with a sprinkle of Britain and Australia. But it's still a relatively small readership, with less than 1000 hits. In other words, there's nothing in it for me. It's like writing to myself. The few times I have gotten private messages have been very random and half-hearted.

Anyway, I spend every waking second working on my entrepreneurial project. I really think it will be big. My last words of advice for now...Believe in yourself. Don't fall into continual negative thought patterns. If you do, get a vacation, get out of your head. The world is much bigger than you think. Opportunities are endless. Your will/determination to succeed and desire to learn social skills from others will be the biggest factors in whether or not you can get over social anxiety. Find inspiration in things/people. See yourself as successful. Live by going after your passions.