The Genetic Factor

You are probably thinking I'm going to talk about social anxiety or depression and how some people are pre-dispositioned to get it.

Nope.

While a person born a certain way might become more suseptible to one of those things, that's not what I'm talking about.

This isn't necesarily about social anxiety, but about life. If there's something I've grown to accept these last few days, it's the fact that we are born with certain talents (and weaknesses too). We are born with certain personality traits that are instilled in us with dNA coding.

One of the things I've always had was a very strong determination to win. At anything. Even when I was 5, I would cry if I lost in a game. I hated losing and I always believed I ought to win. While that is normal to some degree, I definetly have it more than other people.

Probably as a result of that, I also have a very strong will to succeed. They call this "heart", or "drive". I don't think it can really be taught. It's an inherent personality trait. You can probably improve on those things with the right mind, but I don't know if you can be it 100%.

Ironically though, it wasn't really my drive that cured social anxiety, but my absense of drive. I think I had been trying and trying and trying so hard for a couple of years where I barely saw any improvement, and then when I relaxed and stopped thinking about it, it subconsciously all came together like a jigsaw puzzle that had never been solved.

I don't know if you can succeed.

You can if you have the will.

I always had the will, but didn't always have the confidence. Once I gained my confidence, I became the man I am today because I could finally realize my potential.

Right now I'm working on a project that I think will be very successful which is where I spend practically all my free time, and I don't think I could possibly have this kind of focus if I was lacking self-esteem and wondering every other day if a girl would be willing to go out with me.

Life is about habits. I used to spend hours on end in forums and surfing the internet. Or I'd wake up lackidaisical on weekends, lounging around doing nothing. When you are focused, these things don't happen anymore, and you realize how absolutely important time is. Time is by far the most valuable resource, more than money, more than anything. How you use it is fundamental.

Most people have enough time, they just don't have the focus, or the efficient use of time. Even myself just a few weeks ago, probably spent too much time procrastinating; that's why structure and focus are so important.

From the movie Coach Carter (I haven't seen it yet, but I love this quote):

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others