Seeing Yourself As A Loser

I used to always see myself as a loser. Even when I felt ambitious or kept telling myself positive thoughts, there was always a deep level negativity about it all. If you're suffering from any form of depression then there's a 99.9% chance you have it. It's the subconscious belief that you will fail. Maybe not at everything, but in certain things that matter a lot to you. I call these things identity level beliefs, because we use them to define who we are.

Even if I had lots of opportunities or chances, I would usually think that I would mess it up. It becomes such a big part of you, that there's a small part of you that actually wants it to happen--just so it will align with your own identity.

It's like in sports, when a team can suddenly go on a losing streak, or a team can suddenly go on a winning streak. It's not the talent that seperates them, it's the confidence. Do you think of yourself as a person who can do something or not? The answer should be a deep level belief in yourself, it's not a yes or no question to be answered on the surface.

How did I finally manage to destroy myself of this belief?

One great way was going on an extended vacation. When I left, I left all my emotional baggage away from me. I had spent a few weeks emersing myself in another culture, everyday with such peace and happiness, feeling a sense of belonging with cousins I barely get a chance to talk to. All those pervasive negative thoughts disappeared even when I came back. It's funny how much power the mind has.

One of the things that would sting the most was getting rejected by a girl, and then going on her webpage a few days later to see how happy she was flirting with other people or getting a new boyfriend. That hit my heart like a ton of bricks. It confirmed my own loser identity as a guy who always failed, and it crippled my self esteem since I was always seeking these random people for approval. This kind of thing perpetuated social anxiety as well as depression.

I'm happy that I'm no longer in that place.

Get out of your head.....I think a vacation can do wonders....connecting with family members or old friends....maybe even moving to a new place to start fresh.....all those negative thoughts only hold you back because you let it be part of your identity. When you remove it, there are no limits to your achievements.