Social Anxiety Cure

Maxwell Maltz's "Pscyho Cybernetics" can help a person understand the process of the subconscious mind. This will help feelings of inferiority complex as well as help creative people figure out how to trust their gut intuition. It is a book that helps with clairity and thus is also a great start in getting over social anxiety.

For a more specific way of curing social anxiety, Dr. Thomas Richards offers a step by step approach that has been highly touted and proven to be very effective.

I think that if you want to get over social anxiety, you have to first relax yourself, and then continue on everyday being positive and learning. It is okay to have setbacks as long as you are moving in the right direction over the long-run. Don't be discouraged by minor set-backs. Bombard yourself with positive information such as those mentioned above and you will be cured.

Video on Winning. One of my final posts.

This is a great clip. From time to time I watch it as motivation. The only part that is iffy is the last bit where he says a "loser is a loser". I know that when I had low self esteem, that's certainly not what I wanted to hear. But in that way, it's motivating, to prove to myself that I'm not a "loser". Now when I watch it, I agree with everything he says. Even the last statement; I now relate to Alec Baldwin's character more than the other people. The "loser" no longer represents me, it represents people who are afraid to go for their dreams. I believe people can change (myself as an example), but some people don't seem to want to change, which is why I agree with that statement.

I really feel that I am on the verge of being very successful in my business venture. It is a entertainment project, and I have poured my heart and soul into it. In my life, I've never been this determined.

I think I was only able to do this because I got rid of social anxiety. If I still had social phobia, I most likely would be stressing out over things that people with social phobia stress out on, and get depressed every other week. Do you see how pervasive social anxiety can be?

I realize that this blog has not been that great. I don't think I have really put in that good of an explanation. And I haven't really described how I cured social anxiety, except for bits and peices that someone would have to fit together like a jigsaw.

One reason is that it's not an easy answer. It's not a linear 1-2-3 finish. The mind is a complex, complicated thing, and I'm not too sure exactly how I got cured. It was like being bombarded with several different factors at the same time that all helped me. I was on vacation away from it all. All that anger and depression vanished as soon as I went to this place. The experience there also was very fulfilling as I have family over there and saw things in a new way. I was always being challenged by people who were outgoing. Normally that would have a negative effect, but somehow, because of who they were and where I was, it had a very beneficial effect. I could write 20 pages detailing the things I believe contributed to my success.

The second reason why I haven't described it, is that if I am going to go out of my way to write an in-depth answer, I'd like to know that it was not done in waste. You see, part of me doesn't want to describe it, because I feel that it would in a way, it would trivialize the experiences I went through. I know this goes against my "keeping a journal" mode, but it's almost like my expereince feels more pure because I didn't sit there analyzing it like some sort of math equation. I mean, as an analogy, if you fell in love with someone, you just want to be in the emotions, you don't want to painstakingly go through all the details of how you logically connected with each other. It would almost take away something from it right? Watch a movie like Before Sunrise (Ethan Hawke in a terrific film of 2 people falling in love in "real time", as well as the sequel Before Sunset) or Lost in Translation (Great movie, but can only be enjoyed if you like slow paced films). Movies like Before Sunrise work so well because they understand the emotion of something. I'm not sure I really want to sit there and break everything apart. One day it will happen. Maybe when my projects are done and I feel that I have the desire to reflect.

And lastly, I haven't been that thrilled with the viewership and responses. I use Google Analytics and I can see trends. I see things like how most of my readers come from Ontario, New York, California, and Eastern United States, with a sprinkle of Britain and Australia. But it's still a relatively small readership, with less than 1000 hits. In other words, there's nothing in it for me. It's like writing to myself. The few times I have gotten private messages have been very random and half-hearted.

Anyway, I spend every waking second working on my entrepreneurial project. I really think it will be big. My last words of advice for now...Believe in yourself. Don't fall into continual negative thought patterns. If you do, get a vacation, get out of your head. The world is much bigger than you think. Opportunities are endless. Your will/determination to succeed and desire to learn social skills from others will be the biggest factors in whether or not you can get over social anxiety. Find inspiration in things/people. See yourself as successful. Live by going after your passions.

The Genetic Factor

You are probably thinking I'm going to talk about social anxiety or depression and how some people are pre-dispositioned to get it.

Nope.

While a person born a certain way might become more suseptible to one of those things, that's not what I'm talking about.

This isn't necesarily about social anxiety, but about life. If there's something I've grown to accept these last few days, it's the fact that we are born with certain talents (and weaknesses too). We are born with certain personality traits that are instilled in us with dNA coding.

One of the things I've always had was a very strong determination to win. At anything. Even when I was 5, I would cry if I lost in a game. I hated losing and I always believed I ought to win. While that is normal to some degree, I definetly have it more than other people.

Probably as a result of that, I also have a very strong will to succeed. They call this "heart", or "drive". I don't think it can really be taught. It's an inherent personality trait. You can probably improve on those things with the right mind, but I don't know if you can be it 100%.

Ironically though, it wasn't really my drive that cured social anxiety, but my absense of drive. I think I had been trying and trying and trying so hard for a couple of years where I barely saw any improvement, and then when I relaxed and stopped thinking about it, it subconsciously all came together like a jigsaw puzzle that had never been solved.

I don't know if you can succeed.

You can if you have the will.

I always had the will, but didn't always have the confidence. Once I gained my confidence, I became the man I am today because I could finally realize my potential.

Right now I'm working on a project that I think will be very successful which is where I spend practically all my free time, and I don't think I could possibly have this kind of focus if I was lacking self-esteem and wondering every other day if a girl would be willing to go out with me.

Life is about habits. I used to spend hours on end in forums and surfing the internet. Or I'd wake up lackidaisical on weekends, lounging around doing nothing. When you are focused, these things don't happen anymore, and you realize how absolutely important time is. Time is by far the most valuable resource, more than money, more than anything. How you use it is fundamental.

Most people have enough time, they just don't have the focus, or the efficient use of time. Even myself just a few weeks ago, probably spent too much time procrastinating; that's why structure and focus are so important.

From the movie Coach Carter (I haven't seen it yet, but I love this quote):

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others

How To Be Gangster

(This is just a random video that I saw on Youtube and I didn't want to put it with the other post today)