What is Personality and is it Important?

When people make friends or go out on a date, the most important variable is "personality". The problem is that the term personality is often misleading.

There is not really much to do with your character. You could be a very trustworthy, hardworking, dignified individual, but if you don't have the ability to communicate an interesting vibe, it's all useless in terms of making connections with people. I used to always get upset when I felt like I "deserved" someone and didn't get them because I was smarter or a better person--according to me.

Personality is more about marketing. It's what you say, how you say it, not necessarily what you're thinking. That's what the humorous video above states, but it's not that black and white.

You can be very comfortable in your own skin (confidence) which is a real personality trait, which will usually translate to a good "personality" because you can now express who you are. Do you see how they overlap? It would be very difficult to fake a personality to someone if you are an insecure, quiet person, unless you're really good at acting above your anxieties. I'm sure you could if you wanted to, but if you have social anxiety or low self esteem it would be very taxing to keep up with it.

So it's much better to try to work from the inside. Learn to be charismatic by being comfortable in yourself, observing others who you admire, and the presentation-aspect of it will follow.

If you get rejected, it most likely isn't you, it's your presentation. This is especially true if the person doesn't know you very well. Whether I say something or not really doesn't change my character, it just changes perception. I look back to when I used to be very socially awkward, my character was basically the same. The only difference is that I'm more comfortable in my own skin, and have picked up on social skills along the way by talking with people who were better at it than me.

Can you believe so much comes down to marketing?

Mister A